You all should get your ass to the Zoo Bar on 14th in Lincoln, Nebraska cause I’m playing my nips off to a virtually empty room

White folk can’t dance.

Therefore, they can dance to anything. Correction: They can’t dance to anything.

They stomp, they jig, they writhe, girls in bikins “twerk” terribly with the asses they simply do not have, they jump, they punch, they twirl- themselves as well as massive glowsticks and balls on string (the dumbest thing ever, please get the fuck off the dancefloor), they hula-hoop (I swear I saw someone using a skip-it), they rub their dicks on asses like dogs…and they all manage to do this perfectly off-beat. 

With all that movement, you would hope that they would fall on at least one downbeat. Even by accident. But no. They just move- to move.

I go to a “dance music” show, and you just can’t dance. 

Pure noise. Three “DJ’s” on the stage with three laptops and gadgets they don’t know how to use. The only thing they are required to do is mix songs. So of course they can’t.

So while two noisy, shitty excuses for “dubstep-dance-electronic” music tracks are playing at the same time, at different tempos and keys, I still see the crowd of white folk still “dancing”. 

Me and my man stopped grooving a long time ago; we were done trying. Just stood up, and looked across the dance floor in awe. These shitty DJs failed to mix tracks- for sixteen full bars. And it seemed like the entire club didn’t notice.

This is when you and your friends swear to never go to that particular venue again.

Went to a Flosstradamus show, but Flosstradamus cancelled. Luckily Tactic, the cats touring with Flosstradamus, made it out and saved the night. 

Lincoln, Nebraska’s electronic music scene is trash. Saw too much of it last year. Never again.